Natural Symptoms of Grief
Grief can affect us on every level.
Physically: Grief is hard on the body. The shocking news of a sudden or unexpected death can usher in nervous system dysregulation: fear, agitation, twitches, shivers, a quick startle response (jumpiness) anxiousness, and overall uneasiness.
Body temperature dysregulation can result in experiencing chills or sweating.
Sleep disturbances are very common and present in many forms: inability to fall asleep, tossing and turning, waking frequently throughout the night, or sleeping excessively. Lack of restful sleep can create a chronic state of exhaustion and a sense of heaviness, feeling weighted down, lacking energy, feeling like you are dragging yourself through the day.
Appetite disturbance disrupts hunger cues. Some find they lack appetite, forget to eat, or conversely comfort themselves with overeating.
Emotionally: Grief is the most powerful and most variable of emotions. It can cause labile emotions, rapidly shifting over the course of a day, akin to an emotional roller coaster ride, or a feeling of emotional whiplash.
The landscape can include feeling anguish, fear, anger, sadness, experiencing regret, self-blame or blame of others, shame or guilt, and wondering where is my loved one now? Are they okay? There may be strong desire for reconnection, with longing, pining, and yearning.
Alternatively, one can experience numbness, disconnection from others, vulnerability, tearfulness, introversion and self-protective behaviors.
Cognitively: Many experience inability to think clearly, to process new information, read, focus, remember appointments or where you put things. You may feel foggy and dull.
Involuntary ruminations, or intrusive thoughts can arise. There can be a compelling desire to find answers, to do detective work, replay events and understand what happened. These can wake you in the middle of the night.
Emotional overload temporarily hijacks parts of the brain involved in reasoning, and can interrupt cognitive abilities. This will settle, but can be distressing.
Spiritually: Grieving is a sacred journey but it can often become a time of deep questioning and spiritual crisis. Many have held the belief throughout their lives that if they lived a good life, been true to the teachings of their faith, that they would be blessed and protected. When tragedy strikes, when the miracle they had prayed for, begged for, and fully expected to receive did not arrive, when prayer chains did not work as hoped, their foundation can be rocked resulting in hurt, confusion and anger.
Disappointment can be directed at their clergy or faith community for not being available or supportive enough, or at God. Feeling forgotten, dismissed, or abandoned results in sadness, blame, anger and additional grief for yet another loss. It quickly becomes confusing.
Too often these mourners hesitate to speak up and make their needs known and misunderstanding follows. Some find their faith strengthened through this journey. Some work through it with time and return to their core beliefs, others walk away. And yet under the same circumstances I have seen many find faith for the first time.
Grieving can be a powerful and transformational experience. Navigating this path requires listening to the guidance our body, heart, mind, and spirit offers us.
I will include a link to a Self Care Plan handout in my newsletter.